Project Wildcat: Counselors

{Project Wildcat>>Former Counselors}

	Chris Ahern If chr was a real word, Chris's name would be a sentence: Chr is a hern. (A hern is a dialect variant of heron...Isn't Pwild educational?)
	Marc Austein Please bring your toothbrush on the trip. I know that toothpaste is not the best thing for the environment, but I hate knowing that someone has not brushed their teeth. I think to myself, “man it must really suck to be rubbing your tongue across those front teeth and feeling all that food residue.” And it really grosses me out. I also think about all the fungus that is probably starting to grow in your mouth and then every time you laugh or exhale I have to worry about whether some of the fungus came out and might be floating towards me. Gross. Gross. Gross. I don’t know if you know how many germs are in the human mouth; I don’t know either, but I heard it is more germs than are found in a dog’s mouth, and dogs eat their own poop, so it must be a lot of germs, including the kind you find in the poop of a dog. So please bring your toothbrush.
	Frank Bauch One time, I beat an olympian 1 on 1 in basketball. He wasn't a basketball player, he was a track and field guy, but it still sounds pretty cool. Pwild is da bomb diggity.
	Rajiv Bhuta Rajiv is a stud.
	Tyler Browne Tyler was once the sixth member of the boy band 5.
	Asa Church Welcome to Northwestern, the best hard place you’ll ever be. First you’ll be excited, then scared. Confused. Tired. At some point you’ll think about transferring. Then you’ll come to your senses. Makes sure you walk out along the lake at least every other day. Change your major. Find good people. Share your notes. Try something entirely new. Call home, but only once a week.
	Jake Cohen Jake was up for the role of Jack in the Titanic, but was rejected because they said he was too manly.
	Dre Collier Dre is, in fact, a distant relative of Tarzan.
	Matt Combs Matty aspires to be a geriatric sunglasses model.
	Lucy Dietch Lucy really, really likes hula hoops.
	Michael P. Duffy Michael often contemplates evolution and the opposable thumb.
	Shannon Elkins Some believe I invented nudity. Alas, I only perfected the concept. In my free time I enjoy dancing to my own beatbox and walking down the street as I improvise my own musical.
	Madelaine Eulich Me Madelaine. Me live in cave. Me like mammoth steak. Me want to be your friend.
	Lauren Fiske ...and then one day, she just cracked...
	Kathleen Flaherty In 2002, Kathleen experienced a quasi-religious reawakening while visiting the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. She would love to talk to you about it. In depth.
	Zack Fleitman After Zack's gastric bypass surgery was completed, the friends just started rolling in. Just like his mom said they would.
	Teresa Fox TFox likes to laugh in the face of lactose intolerants as she slips and slides in dairy products.
	Ed Gadient In his upcoming book, Studliness and Self: Finding the Inner Stud, card-carrying he-man Edward Gadient reflects, "Studliness isn't lost, found, gotten, or had. It isn't just a look or charisma; it is an existential plane of being. The heady conversationalism, witty repartee, and frothy looks of come-hitherness come after you realize that inner beefcake. I wasn't jet-setting, yachting, and enjoying the glitterati life until I found my own personal virility. I first had to discover my salt-of-the-earth, flannel wearing, shades touting, and love espousing potency, and then things fell into place."
	Elisabeth Goossen I enjoy being approximately this far away from bison.
	Liz Granger Liz likes the way big burly men hold her at night.
	Susannah Harris Susannah Harris was born on September 25, 1969, in Swansea, West Glamorgan, Wales, UK to a father who formerly worked at a candy factory. Susannah showed an interest early on in entertainment; she sang and danced her way to local stardom before she was ten years-old, as a part of a Catholic congregation's performing troupe. She later starred on stage in 'Annie', 'Bugsy Malone', and 'The Pajama Game'. At 15, Susannah had the lead in the British revival of "42nd Street." She first made a name for herself in the early '90s when she starred in the Yorkshire Television comedy/drama series "The Darling Buds of May" (1991). Although she has never camped before, Susannah is sure she will love it and is as excited to meet the freshmen in the Fall as they should be to meet her.
	Anya Hayden Anya makes an awesome rickshaw.
	Rob Jackman You know who hasn't had a good ripping in a while? Communists. That's right, I'm gunning for you, pinko.
	Erin Janklow She is anything but janky.
	Steph Jarzemsky I'm Steph and I enjoy glaciers, sherpa hats, and Hannah's face in this picture.
	Melanie Kahl I think I just peed a little.
	Emma Kerr If Emma had only known that there were a hundred other Mickeys in the Park, she wouldn't have given herself so freely.
	Jenny Kim I was really happy when this picture was taken.
	Rob Kotz Even though it looks like I might spew, I'm actually playing the harmonica.
	Jamie Kwasnieski I'm a gangster, especially when I go scuba diving.
	Meredith Laitos Meredith is a friend to all turtles.
	Jenny Lenahan Is disgruntled that you ate her cookie. Why did you do that?
	Holly Lindulis That's me on the right and on the left is Pam. She doesn't actually know I'm using this picture for a bio. I don't think she'll mind. I could have chosen a more incriminating photo. We used to backpack together in pirate costumes and take turns beating each other over the head with our inflatable pirate sword. Good times. I like pirates. I don't like wearing shoes. Ever. Which is something of an issue in Chicago. Just before this photo was taken, we passed a barefoot thru-hiker. Ok, she passed us. That person is my idol.
	Tom McDonald Tom McDonald is Ronald McDonald's brother. He became very disgruntled when Ronald got the red hair so he learned how to tame snakes so he could one day seek poisonous revenge.
	Margot McKirdy I am Larry McFinkelstein and I hate you all. I hope to NOT see you during Pwild because Pwild is AWFUL just like vomit and your face is UGLY as a donkey's butt!!! Editor's note: Margot Mckirdy can ONLY speak in opposites...every day is opposite day in Mckirdy land. So this bio actually reads: "I am Margot Mckirdy and I love you all. I hope to see you during Pwild because Pwild ROCKS just like ice cream and your face is PRETTY as a peach pie!!!" You see? Now isn't that nice
	Jiwon Park BEER!
	Hannah Pitt Hannah has fantasies about being a little kid again because she liked wetting the bed.
	Matthew Present My name is Matthew Amos Present. I was born on Christmas day 1985. If my parents had named me Christopher I would have been Chris Amos Present. Say it three times. I'm Jewish. If only my name were Chris.
	Dave Reis David Reis...where should I begin? This enigma wrapped in a puzzle inside of an labrynth of a different and infinitely more complex enigma hails from Missoula, Montana: home of The Range, self-deprication, Skip-It and that '90s band Deep Blue Something. Although exiled for a sticky, and as yet unresolved, situation involving Mrs. McGregor's missing zinc tablets, the big world is lucky to have him. David enjoys diabetes, clapping along with songs, eating paste and winning. You can ask him about being a junior Mechanical Engineering major who used to live in Sargent and is an active member of various organizations that do not matter as much as Project Wildcat, but there's no guarantee that he will answer
	Hannah Robbins Hannah's going on a picnic and she's bringing Froot Loops and Hula Hoops. What are you going to bring?
	Ben Rolfs Redneck extraordinaire.
	Kristin Scovic Hi. I'm Kristin Scovic. I was born a jolly little girl in Switzerland in 1876, but then I got caught in an ice storm in the Scataratatatat Mountains (yes, they exist...I was frozen there for about 110 years, I would know). Thank goodness for Global Warming because if it didn't exist, I would still be frozen in the Scataratatatat Mountains. Please, support the other children frozen in faraway lands by depleating the ozone layer as much as possible.
	Grant "G-Money" Simpson Grant has a way with the ladies.
	Euhbin Song Euhbin is passionate and somewhat belligerent about her mangos.
	Courtney Spalding-Mayer CSM was a co-chair and she didn't even write a bio. Smooth. She makes little boys cry.
	AO Smith This is the only facial expression I have. Seriously. Welcome to Pwild.
	Brooke Thurman Hi, my name is Brooke Thurman. Uma Thurman is my cousin. Sometimes I wish my middle name was Lynn, so my real name could be Brooklyn. I'm from Colorado, where I live in a tent in the mountains. I am also on the sailing team at NU, and during the summer I like to practice sailing on all the huge lakes we have in Colorado.
	Meredith Turk Meredith has a doppelganger.
	Mark Underhill Mark enjoys wearing loinclothes on his off days.
	Mai Van Vu As a peaceful asian in tune with nature and a bearer of a fashion forward mullet, i look forward to introducing you to the wilderness.
	Sasha Von Oldershausen The most wonderful thing about Sashas, is Sashas are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of springs. They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
	Brad Walsh Brad likes being barefoot and wet. It reminds him of the womb.
	Mark Weiss Mark likes math.
	Allison Wessel Allison can't have a funny or offensive bio because she needs a job.
	Phil Williams I like to make out with my fellow Pwild Counselors. If you think I am hot you should probably become a Pwild Counselor because then we can makeout
	Andy Wright Andy pees in the snow.
	Anna Yermakova This whole bio-writing thing is a little foreign to me because back in Soviet Russia the bios write themselves for you. Anyway, here is a shot in the dark. So back in Soviet Russia my name pronounced itself more like Anya, but I respond to Anna, but if you pronounce it wrong I will be conspiring against you when your back is turned. Back in Soviet Russia I play tennis, date a hockey player, and was in a gymnastics boot camp from the age of 4. Back in Soviet Russia the cars drive themselves, everyone is happy because they are all equally important, and sugarplums grow out of the cracks in sidewalks.